在别人面前的快乐只为了令别人开心一点我要找到真的快乐唯有继续装傻

`'`Sunday, December 31, 2006`'`

[On Air : 一直在这里 - 郭品超]

It new year eve today.
most people are probably out counting down to the new year.
what am i dong here?
sad to say i am on 1 week MC.
and the worse part is under doctor's order i have to stay at home for 1 whole week.
so here i am stuck at home watching sturat little 2 on tv.
what a way to spend my new eve. haha.
i haven't been feeling well since christmas.
and it just sort of got worse and so yeah.
i woke up finding a letter on my table today.
Though, i have not been feeling too good these few days
i felt a whole lot better after reading the letter.
you know you are.
Thank You so much for sending that letter.

Anyway, year 2006 is coming to end in a few hours.
many things have happen this year.
the good ones & the not-so-good ones.
the many happy, sad, touching, memorable moments.
the people, family, friends, colleagues, schoolmates even strangers.
i still remember them all.
i guess 2006 has been a good year.
i have learnt many things along the way.
though at times i had to learnt it the hard way.
but i am glad it all help make me a better person.
and for everyone who has helped add colour to my life
i hereby sincerely thank you.
it going to be a whole new start.
so here goes to my list of new year resolutions.
i just hope i do follow them.

New Year Resolutions:
- everyone to have stay healthy and happy.
- better grades
- stay healthy
- taking better care of myself
- lose 5kg
- come up with better lyrics
- learn how to compose
- treasure everyone around me.

Well, actually i still have a very long list.
but i figured it best to keep it short and realistic.
hopefully, i will be able to achieve those.
Alright, so here goes my last entry for the year. =)

~ It doesn't matter where i maybe, just remember that whenever & wherever you need me i will always be right here by your side.~

9:22 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Thursday, December 28, 2006`'`

[On Air : 点水蜻蜓 - 牛奶]

Term break officially ends in 5 days.
spending time with family.
meeting up with a few friends.
went back to college east.
most of the time i am working.
i spent my christmas working this year. =D
not too bad.
just that the 2 weeks seems too short.
gotta buck up when schools starts.
final papers are barely a month away.

Anyways, we gave sotong a surprise birthday celebration today.
it 3 days in advance.
but hopefully she had a memorable day.
and of course the presents too.
sorry sotong, i didn't mean to lie.
haha.
though i wasn't really very sure you would fall for it.
luckily you did though.
这只是善意的谎言. =)))

1:59 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Friday, December 15, 2006`'`

[On Air：夏天的风 - 元卫觉醒]

Finally~ common tests are over.
ITL was a total screw up.
hopefully today's paper wouldn't turn out too badly.
i am seriously deprived of sleep.
gonna catch up on it the whole weekend.
and hopefully i have got inspiration to come up with something. =D
L01's gathering was smashing.
L01 is one cool class. Rawk on! =)))))

the bells jingle and i know christmas is coming.......

12:43 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Tuesday, December 12, 2006`'`

[音乐：你听得到 - 周杰伦]

tomorrow's paper is one i wish i didn't have to take.
i am totally screwed up.

11:30 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Sunday, December 10, 2006`'`

[On Air : 天灰 - S.H.E]

36 hours 50 mins to common test.
less than 48 hours. omg~
i have flipped my notes till they are on the verge of being torn.
and i am on the verge of breaking down.
i have been redoing every question for the 100th time.
nah~ exaggerating. =X
lesser but nonetheless, i have been doing it over and over again.
haven't had much sleep the past few days.
i feel so moody.
ok, enough of my rantings.
back to the books then. =D

santa can you hear me? all i wish for this christmas is .............

3:09 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, December 04, 2006`'`

[On Air : 半岛铁盒 - 周杰伦]

one more week left to common test.
i can't judge how much i have revised.
but the understatment still stands at i-am-still-not-ready.
i was never ever ready anyway.
and probably never will.

common test has basically been taking up most of my time.
so it either school or home.
not that it a bad thing.
i get to spend more time with my family.
like the whole of the past weekend.
friday was dad's birthday.
had dinner at some resturant in chinatown together with grandma & aunt's family.
and half of saturday was spend with my cousin and dinner over at aunt's house.
one of the best weekends for me.

everything seems alright.
when i am with people.
smile, joke, laugh.
but when i am alone.
everything feels different.
i tend to settle into my thoughts too deeply.
sometimes even the emotional system goes haywire.
putting on a brave front doesn't do the inside work.
wad a joke.
i can't even control my own emotions.
and i thought i was strong.
strong. haa. how wrong i am.
well, i have been living in a state of self-denial.
i should have recognised this long ago.
or rather i should have choosen to recognise.
and i am starting to wonder how much more of me is still in self-denial.
oh wells, enough of such depressive talk.
it time i get to sleep.
or i shall very soon withness the consequences of sleeping late. =)

Don’t take too long to say I love you to the ones you love,
Cos time has a habit of slipping away.

12:26 AM

with love,
xin

=)