在别人面前的快乐只为了令别人开心一点我要找到真的快乐唯有继续装傻

`'`Sunday, January 30, 2005`'`

There's so much stuff 2 sae abt e past weekend. So mani tat i dunno where n hw 2 start...... She feels so trapped, restricted, suffocated.... Give her space and a place 2 take in fresh air. Why can't they understand? She brokedown... she can't take it animore, Twice in 2 daes... it shows how much n long she has kept inside her. She's not in ani wrong, all she wans is 2 haf sum freedom. To be herself. Y can't she? Even if she's wrong.... e onli ting tat is wrong is tat she places evrione above herself.... 4 so mani years. Evritime... she gives and gives. She nv expext aniting in return. Juz a chance to be herself... do the tings she likes. I look at the tears tat felt frm her eyes... e pend up fustrations and pain. But i couldn't do aniting...... to help her, to lessen e pain, to tell her tat she has a fren tat will do aniting to help share her burden. Like she alwayz did whn i had probz. Wad else can i do? whn i can't even help her whn she nds it e most. She's alwayz there whn i nd sum1.... she n e rest of e others (u knoe whu u r). I wish i can do sumting to help her, aniting. i can't go on ani more....Hey, thanx... 4 sharing ur probz wif mi. reali thanx alot! I m sorri if i haven been of any help... but anitime u nd aniting or anione... juz pick up e phone.....

10:30 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Thursday, January 27, 2005`'`

I don't have the courage to say the words.
Those words of thanks, appreciation and gratefulness.
The words might mean alot.
But action speak louder than words.

Thank You for coming into my life.
For bringing hope and sunshine.
And when you need someone.
I am only a phonecall away.
I give you my word.
That i will alwayz be there.

Those times whn i was down.
When i feel lonely.
You never fail to take those away.
You taught mi about life from a different perspective.
The laughter, tears n pain.
These will alwayz be in my memories.

Someday when i look back to those days.
I know i will never regret.
Even when the heart stops beating
the story of our friendship will go on.........

p.s. This is 4 all my frenz...... esp the few of u, u guyz knoe whu u r.... thank you 4 all u haf done!

11:26 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, January 24, 2005`'`

Whoosh! A new week again. Last weekend was great. Had a long weekend cuz fridae was a public holidae. Went out wif my sis on fridae to get chinese new year clothes, and finalli bought it. So sick of trying n trying.... haha. Aniwae, on sat went out wif e gang ( Lin, Siti, Ch n Fart) to celebrate Lin's birthdae. Actualli, a belated 1. We went to Kbox at je.... n Sang for 5 whole hours! We gave Lin her presents, Fart n Siti bought her an ultraman soft toy. Ever since it gt in 2 her hands, she nv let it go. She was hugging the soft toy for god knoes hw long. Haha.... n mi n ch bought her Ndge ost, which she had wanted to get it ever since it was out. Guess wad? She immediately change e disc in her discman... oh god! Is this guy reali so charismatic tat he has such a big influence? hehe. After tat, we went to seoul garden for dinner n we ate quite alot. I felt so bloated after tat. Wonder hw siti feels, she ate the most among us. We ate, talked n laughed. Cracking our brains for cold jokes.... hahaha..... it was damn fun. We onli left the place at arnd 10, after the last serving. The people were alreadi clearing up the place. I wanted to go buy my tkd belt, but the shop was alreadi closed. Aniwae, after tat we all left for home... going all different directions. Lin n ch took e mrt, siti the bus, but it was a different direction frm ours. Den mi n fart went off together. We stood arnd n talked awhile, b4 leaving to wait 4 my bus. It was one of the best times, cuz it rare tat the 5 of us r able to gather 2gether cuz evri1 has stuff to do. Aniwae, on sun Lin came over to my place for basketball. It was pretty hot actualli. We challenged by shooting 5 straigth balls in, n if 1 doesn't go in. We will haf to start frm zero again. At last i managed 10 straight balls, though it wasn't a veri gd record. After tat, my bro went over to play wif sum big guyz, so e 2 of us took a rest n sat dwn to chat. I was teasing her like nuts. She looked like she gonna kill there n den. hahaha...... sorri, but.... it fun. Well, 2dae 's entry ends here. will back soon... Adios!

9:32 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Wednesday, January 19, 2005`'`

Juz came back frm tkd, arnd 10+... onli attended 1 lecture cuz of e cca open hse. actualli, we r supposed 2 encourage pple 2 join... quite sian actualli. We started packing up arnd 2.30 cuz there wasn't much pple alreadi. Den we had dis "interview" for e new committe, cuz e seniors r graduating soon. They asked if i am offered a post will i accept it, i said no cuz i m nt responsible. haha... which is in fact veri true. Went home aft the interview, cuz i onli brought half geer. Aniwae tkd was quite alrite 2dae. Did alot of target kicking 2dae, most part of it was turning kick. Oh rite, n there was this inicident tat happpened yesterdae. We were inside e log lab for ift lesson. Den there was dis guy whu came back frm e toilet. The lab door was opened, so he closed e door as he was coming in. Den suddenly i heard glass- breaking sound. I turn arnd. Guess wad i saw? The lab door, cracking n collapsing in frnt of mi. evri1 was so shocked, nt knowing hw 2 react. The lecturer whn dwn 2 report, while e guy whn 2 e toilet 2 wash his wounds. He gt cut on e hand. He was wearing a cap at tat time, so it was lucky tat his head was being protected. It was darn scary! Getting tired, n i my 1st lecture starts at 8.15 tmr... so i guess i better get going. Adios!

11:15 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, January 17, 2005`'`

Start sch for 1 wk alreadi... haf not come n update 4 a long time, cuz my com juz came back frm holidae... haha. Sch's nuts... all lesson starts a t 8.15 n end arnd 3+ or 4+. Haiz... last semester still gt 10.15 start lesson. Den IMP lecture attend = Never attend. No notes nthing... den e lecturer sae so much i oso duno wad he's talking about. N, all e lecture are damn thick. Thank god! 11+ alreadi...... gtg 4 nw. Haven finish my Acess Assignment. Be back soon! Adios!

11:06 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, January 03, 2005`'`

It the New Year, hope there will b world peace. N hope tat e pple arnd mi, my family, frenz and the rest of the world health and happiness. Year 2005.... hope tat it will be a good year. God Bless evrione!

Here's a song i tink tat it pretty meaningful....

Name me one little thing / You'd be wanting to keep as you give up the ghost / As you sink into sleep. Maybe her face in the morning / Maybe his in the evening. Maybe words never spoken / Aren't they the ones worth hearing? Nothing sounds as good as / "I remember that..."Like a bolt out from the blue / Did you feel it too?'Cause that's all we can have / Yes that's all we can trustIt's a hell of a ride / But a journey to dust. And there's nothing pathetic / Listing clothes she'd wear. If it proves that I had you / If it proves I was there...

8:20 PM

with love,
xin

=)