在别人面前的快乐只为了令别人开心一点我要找到真的快乐唯有继续装傻

`'`Wednesday, December 28, 2005`'`

The hardest Thing

Alone I walk on this empty street
Listening to my own heartbeat
Refusing to let the tears fall
As I see the end to all
I thought I was right
But this is killing me inside
Without you by my side
I’ll learnt to be strong
There’s no turning back
I have made up my mind
Cos you deserve better

The hardest thing I had to do
Is to let go of you
And look you in the eye
To tell you I don’t love you
When it all a lie
I can’t let you see the pain inside me
The hardest thing I had to do
Is to walk away from you
And pretend that this love never happened
Some other day some other time
We will meet again

Maybe another day fate will come again
When the time comes right
I know I will make it right
I will hold this fate tight
Maybe because of my pride
The pain I will hide
Pretending all had not happened
There’s no turning back
I have made up my mind
I know you deserve better

The hardest thing I had to do
Is to let go of you
And look you in the eye
To tell you I don’t love you
When it all a lie
I can’t let you see the pain inside me
The hardest thing I had to do
Is to walk away from you
And pretend that this love never happened
Some other day some other time
We will meet again

Composer mode on (",)

10:07 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Sunday, December 25, 2005`'`

i hear the jingle bells ringing, ah...... it christmas. Thanx to all who bombed my phone inbox with christmas greetings in the early hrs of the morning. aha... i appreciate that. jus t got back frm my aunt's place. this year's christmas .... hm ... i will sae every christmas has its special meaning. after all, it the season of giving. i had a great christmas eve yesterdae, thanx to .... owells, u know who u pple are rite? yeaps, ok i cut the crap here. Merry Christmas everyone! (",)

11:03 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Wednesday, December 21, 2005`'`

Untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading awayI’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears meI
’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what
I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

10:13 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Sunday, December 18, 2005`'`

when i was young i dreamt of being a . . .

doctor.
lawyer.
teacher.

wadever that could earn a huge salary . . . was my ambition . . . don't all kids tink the same way?

When i was in secondary school i change my ambitions, i wanted to be a . . .

banker.
medical researcher.
biochemist.

i thot those dreams were more realistic . . . at least, it narrowed down my super long lists of future ambitions.

Now . . .

i am working towards my future. i don't have a specific ambition in mind animore. But, i know what i am doing and i have been learning alot from my course of study. A line, i never thot i will go into. life is unpredictable. we never know wad will happen to us , the next minute , hour or day. All i hope now is to complete my studies, get a stable job and when the time comes find a life partner and settle down. those glamourous ambitions. big dreams. those unrealistic ones and those broken dreams. it all the past. it time i grow up . . . . . .

9:18 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, December 12, 2005`'`

went to mayday's concert last weekend wif my sis & cousin. it was great, atmosphere was good and their live performance was powerful. i had a pretty good time wif my cousin & sis , all the food n photo prints. at least, it gave me temporary distraction. work was pretty ok todae, my lecturer came to visit. it was nice seeing a familar face. makes me wan to back to school all over agn.

i m so.... tired ... of like evriting? wad's wrgn wif ya girl?

9:12 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Thursday, December 08, 2005`'`

tired ..... tired of everything 。。。。。。

8:36 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Wednesday, December 07, 2005`'`

1 of my fav pic :)

we may live different lives. we may go seperate ways. but sumtings never go away 。。。。。。 they stay for 。。。。。。alwayz . just like this. (",)

11:15 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, December 05, 2005`'`

the dream tat seem so near yet so far .
sweat. blood. tears.
one day it will fly high.

den 。。。。。。

we all know it was worthwhile 。。。。。。

10:38 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Saturday, December 03, 2005`'`

what a week. haven't had much time on the com & lesser updates. too tired to spend too much time on the com. work as usual the past week. went to watch py's singing competition after on wednesdae. started on editing my proj due the nxt dae at 11pm. exhausted by the time i was more or less completed. we had no time for rehersals so it was own time, own target. it wasn't a veri gd presentation frm us, lots of tings to improve on. bt, pretty glad we made it thru. Phui hae, Jenny, me, kazaf & Jee Hong went to campus heaven to eat. [Thanx to Jee Hong 4 the treat (",) ]. i miss the sch food so much! did sum catching up & glad to hear everyone is doing fine. Decided to go dwn to the studio to practise on my keyboard. was nearly 10 whn i reached home. took a bath & went to slp. yesterdae went back to sch agn, for kazaf's band concert. the performance was reali solid & the feeling of being back in the auditorium is so like going back home. After e concert, yee ling, yongjian, me, phui hae, huifen & hui xian waited for kazaf & went dwn to westmall to meet Jee Hong who had been waiting for us for 2 hrs. he's so patient. haha. had our dinner at the kopitiam & did sum catching up. Didn't realised it started raining. decided to head home, it ws getting late and i guess everyone is getting tired. todae, work was half day. met up wif Lin for lunch at Jp. Nthing much to shop arnd and after buying her photo frame. we ended up walking arnd Jp 3 times & finalli sat dwn at the foodcourt to talk . decide to head home at arnd 5+ . tired but satisfied week. (",)

10:54 PM

with love,
xin

=)