在别人面前的快乐只为了令别人开心一点我要找到真的快乐唯有继续装傻

`'`Saturday, June 25, 2005`'`

I am back. After such a long time? School started, so it kinda busy. Plus my lectures end late abt 5pm or 6pm in the evening. By the time i reach it usually 7pm or near 8pm. The 1st wk of sch was ok, i gt the taste of having to walk from one end of the sch to the other. That's one of the prob of havig a big sch. The sch's nice & the facilities are great though. No complaints here. Everything has a price to it rite? Aniwae, met up wif lin & siti ytd. Was supposed to go see her friend's band perform at parkway parade. But we were late , so when we reached our destination sum other bands were performing. we sat down on the steps & watched them performed. Actualli, most of the time we were talking more than watching. Esp, me & lin. Looking up & counting stars. Finalli, we went to eat sakae sushi & search our way to the shuttle bus stop. Ytd was kinda special for me, a cute little thing entered my life. This cute little thing may not looked significant. But this little special thing, means alot to me from special people in my life. A look at it & i tink of them. It gives me the strength to go on, knowing there's alwayz people put there who will be there for me. This cute little thing alreadi has a name when he was given to me. And the most amazing abt it is there is even a birth certificate. For confidential sake, i shall nt reveal his birth cert. haha. Thank you. Thank you so much.i m reali touch & appreciate wad u guyz haf done. i reali...... love it alot. :D

p/s: Thank you to my two veri special peepz who brought the cute little thing into my life. :=)

The 1st pic taken... He's irresistable!( The pics aren't too clear, bear wif it. Thanks)

Here he is.... everyone meet xiao Toro ^_^

Isn't he cute??

3:45 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Sunday, June 19, 2005`'`

Last few daes were a testing of my character & strengths. A great learning experience & a guage of my independency. it was tough without my parents being around but it was an enriching experience. My parents brought back lots of stuff mostly clothes. My mum actualli bought me a whole shopping bag of clothes & a reali cool wallet. phew! i dun nd to worri abt buying new clothes for the time being. Siti, lin & my sis fren's came over on fridae & had fun the whole evenong. We watched house of wax till 6.30pm & ordered pizza & KFC. Watched the 7pm show on chn 8 while waiting for the food to arrived. Finished eating & cleared up by arnd 9pm. siti came up wif the idea of playing truth or dare. wad a "cruel" game. lots of juicy news were being revealed. [hm... my mouth is zipped & e secrets sealed in my heart]. Next, we decided to play a reaction game frm a variety show. The forfeit for losing tat particular round of game is to drink a horrible concotion tat was brewed by my sis. Her fren actualli puke, cuz she cldn't stand the sight of the drink & i choked durinfg one of the forfeit tat i spit the drink out tat unfortunately siti's phone was dirtied {**sorrie**}. Lin's parents called at arnd 10pm & came to fetched them home & siti's parents came abt half an hour later. It was a great day, though i didn't feel well after drinking tat concotion. it 19th june. The hols officially ends today......

11:55 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Thursday, June 16, 2005`'`

My windpipe is blocked ....... the thick greenish mucus ....... yuuck ....... the herbal tea did sum of its magic though ....... Thanx peepz for the herbal tea ....... and forcing me to drink it ........ i never fancied chinese medicine since i was a kid ....... much less herbal tea ........ hols are ending ....... better catch up on my sleep .......

5:40 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, June 13, 2005`'`

I was supposed to post this entry yesternite. But unfortunately, i was down wif a slight fever & sore throat. so here it is. Went to Energy's Final Fantasy auto session wif my best buddies & sis. Woke up late as usual & took a cab down with my sis, ch &lh. Met up wif the rest at lot 1. Finalli went up onstage after a long wait. All of them were in a pretty good mood i guess. grinning cheekily, greeting cheerily. Was standing between siti & ch. Siti told them it was my bithday & 3 of them greeted me happi birthdae [ Thanx to: kunda, shuwei & nuinai]. { To siti: Hey, thanx for your present. Thank you, it more than enough. Reali, i mean it.} Went down to far east to eat & shop after the session. Nice food, best buddies, air-conditioned placed, great photos, graffti walls. Wad more can i asked for? Aniwaes, went to take my basic theory test this morning. Yesh! i passed! nxt up will b advanced theory test. Have nt touched the boook for sumtime alreadi. My results were released todae, one day earlier den expected. Wad can i sae? Personally, i tink it lousy. Bt pple ask if i nd to go to the mental hospital. Ans is : No, tat is absoutlely unnecessary. I guess maybe it because i didn't meet up to my own expectations. Feel kind of lousy. But... no sweat... i will be back. I will do much better this coming term. I know i can, as long as i do my best i will acheive my goal. I fall down here and i will pick myself up from here. Let time tell the story......

p/s: Thanx Ch, Eugene, Lh & Brenda for the presents. I love it alot :D

p/s 2: Thanx Lin for the strawberries & tea :D

"The pair of invincible hands"

" cheeky kunda & sunshine Nui Nai" [ Bad hair day?]

As the story goes..." it starts with you & me"

"ouch! tat hurts!"

" MY ENERGY"

The story goes on... " 2005.06.12 - yi zhi dao zui hou... ..."

" I thot vandalism is a crime in spore, we still do it aniwae" - hehez

11:45 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Friday, June 10, 2005`'`

As I lay in bed, memories of the my last 18 years came flowing back to me. I thot abt my life, things i haf done, missed out & almost every event tat happend. joy, fears, pain & laughter. times juz fly by without me realising. Had my sleep interrupted countless times by the non-stop ringing phone. Went out wif my mum in e afternoon and juz came back frm a sumptous japanese meal wif my family. Thank you to everyone for their greetings/ wishes. esp siti, lin & sh thank for e cake guyz. I appreciate all e efforts. Thank you so much for making my day. i guess i haf alwayz gt the wrong idea of being cool. i used to tink it the stuff i owe, things i do & clothes i wear. All these while i had such a wrong idea. Being myself makes me cool... being independent makes me cool... being honest makes me cool.... being righteous makes me a cool person. I want to be cool in my parents eyes... my friends... & everyone else tat matters to me. I hope as time goes by i can achieve tat. To be more mature. Becme a better person. To make people who truly care proud of me. Tat's my wish. Cuz today i turn 19. it my birthday. I am older by a year in terms of age. I hope to be older not just physically... but physcologically... mentally... and well maybe... juz maybe spritually....

p/s: To everyone who has made my birthdae such a wonderful day in one way
or another. Words can't expressed how much i appreciate
all you haf done. Thank you so much. :D

11:48 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Tuesday, June 07, 2005`'`

hm.... juz sum pics tat was taken during the river cruise trip last semester. my fren send it over so i though i will post it up. enjoy :D

" Durain Head of Spore"

" Merlion"<----' n i thot spitting is a crime. hehez.'

p/s: *Happy Birthday to yuenmei* :)

" pic of the bridge"

10:53 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Monday, June 06, 2005`'`

Another week has gone by. 2 more wks before sch starts. Time to start counting dwn. my hols are nt exactly interesting, but it nt 2 bad either. my 2 aunts & uncle came over to my hse todae. Had been sumtime since i last saw them. it ws during cny i tink. spent the afternoon chatting wif thm. Went bballing wif siti afterwards. had a friendly wif sum pple we met at the court. there ws 1 guy whu is our junior frm ctss. played till 7pm n left for hm to take a bath, before heading to jp to meet my mum n sis. shopped arnd till 9.30 before leaving 4 home. Yeah, actualli tat's my day. hopefully, nxt wk wld turn out to be a nicer week.

Quote of the day: Many days i've spent drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

12:29 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Friday, June 03, 2005`'`

Feeling sick & restless. Nt a gd feeling at all. Guess it might be due to the excess spicy foods i have taken. The past few days, hasn't been great at all. besides being sick.In the day, i feel cranky, irritated & moodless. Feel like i am reverting back to my old bad-tempered self. I can't go back to being tat. Absoultely not. i knoe the consequences. Depressing things haf also been happening arnd me. I feel so helpless. A failure. Being nt able to offer anyting to someone close to you who is feeling down. It difficult to see someone suffer, and not being able to do anyting to lessen the pain. All i can do is pray & wait for the sun to shine again. Recently, i read a book about graduation & growing up. It speaks my heart, the story seem so close to my life. And i learnt tat the process of growing up is actualli enjoyable & this process actualli has no ending. Well, i guess i will juz stop here now. Off for some rest.

p/s: I pray to god to help her find her way and lead her through. To make her a stronger person.

10:06 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Wednesday, June 01, 2005`'`

Oh well! 30/05/05 was one hell of a freaky day. Let's start off wif realising 10 missed calls on my hp. Truthfully, i pick up e phone reluctantly, without even knoeing who called. As usual, the few pathetic hours of sleep caused me to be restless during the day. I picked up the call worrying for the fate of my phone. It alreadi nt in gd wrking condition. It was a wake up call from Lin. Collapsed back on to my bed aft hanging up. Tried getting back to sleep but it was useless. Gave up after 10 mins. By the time i left the house it was alreadi going 2 b 11am. I msg lin & told her i was going to b late. luckily she was oso on her way. Met up arnd 12+. Intended to go grab a bite, before heading to felicia's hse. I wasn't familar wif tat place. it was at aljunied. i haf onli been there a few times. went into cheers, bt there wasn't anyting tat appealed. Took a bus to felicia's hse. Stayed until arnd 4+. Figured our way to tes entertainment to collect lin's concert tix. We even went to the wrgn building. Weird location, weird security guard, weird boss. I am nt scared or aniting but tat place kinda freaked me out. It happened tat they dun accept nets, so left with no choice but to walk all the way out to the nearest atm machine which isn't near at all. the most unbelievable ting is it located in a industrial complex. Finally, lin gt her precious tix & we left the place. Promising ourselves tat we will do evriting in our means nt to go to this kind of places animore. But den again on 2nd thoughts, it nt as bad after all considering tat we found out another place in s'pore tat in is away from urbanization. Yet another learning experience in my life.

Quote of the day: Have you ever tried reaching for something so far that you
think you can never reach it?
Stretching your arms so high that it hurts...
Smiling at the very glimpse of hope...
Crying when it had gone...

12:02 AM

with love,
xin

=)