在别人面前的快乐只为了令别人开心一点我要找到真的快乐唯有继续装傻

`'`Wednesday, September 28, 2005`'`

Dear bloghead,
i m feeling so weirdly bothered. i dun get why either. it starting to affect the people arnd me. i realise tat. better keeping it inside. so i dun let it get to the others. to all the people who cares. i m sorri for not being myself. for all tat stupidness and the careless treatment tat i haf been giving. the pressure is coming down hard. it time i learn how to cope. i will handle this the rite way. i knoe i can do it.

you will be there when i turn around rite bloghead ?
Like u alwayz haf been ......

12:30 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Sunday, September 25, 2005`'`

The past weekend, brought back memories of the KL trip. The 3 days we spent together, brought everyone closer and back to those memorable days. We played, had fun, laughed, sing, watch tv... etc. The place ws small. single story n onli had a toilet, two single beds combined, two draw out mattress a fridge, dressing table and a tv. We never reali slept much 4 tat 2 days. First night had KFC for supper, watched a ghost movie, talked on the phone , played mahjong and too a walk to the beach at arnd 3am in e morning. The wind was strong. We sat down at a bench and started talking. I kinda fell aslp 4 awhile, cuz it ws cooling and comfortable. cold in fact. strolled back at arnd 6+ am. Second day went cycling, played pool, had a BBQ and went to KTV until 1am. Went back and watched the videos tat we had taken during the trip. Headed home on the third day near noon time. Tired but happy. There's so much to say abt this gathering, but i guess i will keep this short. Thanx to the whole Fantastiqa family for such a fantastic weekend. All the best to everyone ! wadever u do in future ... keep up wif the Fantastiqa Spirit! ;=)

Some of the pics taken :

11:57 PM

with love,
xin

=)

yesh, i m back frm a wonderful weekend.
tired but happi.
will update soon.
*cheers*

11:40 PM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Friday, September 23, 2005`'`

Came across this as i was surfing arnd. veri meaningful. to all my treasured frens out there. This is dedicated to everyone of you out there.

I know sometimes I'm not
An easy person to be around
But I know you're always there
When I've lost and hit the ground.

I know that you will always
Be there when I need to chat
I know I won't lose what we have
And I would never let it happen.

I can go to you when I needed you.
I can call you night or day
To tell you how I'm doing
You are always there for me.

I could tell you that when
I'm not talking to you I am dead
You are such important person in my life
I need you to be a part of my world.

I know that if my life without you
All I want to do is cry
Because you're not only my friend
You're an angel sent from the sky.

I know when I have bad days
You fix it with your eyes
The sparkle in you is florescent
Which no blind man could deny

So just because I don't tell you
That I miss you everyday
Doesn't mean it's not true
Because I miss you in everyway.

12:30 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Sunday, September 18, 2005`'`

ETP- Extremely Tiring Paper... so relieved tat it done. Sure it be returned for editing again and tat means back to square one. at least it completed for now. one step at a time. had a sudden inspiration juz now. came up wif a small para of lyrics. feels pretty good to be penning this stuff agn. gives the mind sum personal space.

He's back. or were you there all along. i dunno. i haven though abt it. i dun haf an ans rite nw. Even if i had one, it wun be a fair one. i guess it nt the rite time....

life is going pretty great for me now. Despite the packed schedule and all. life's like so full of surprises. i am beginning to see the sunrise of loving life itself. after like 19 years. wells, i hope it not too late. Appreciating the tings and people arnd me. enjoying the days as it passes by. the feeling is juz great. no complicatiions. Jian Jian Dan Dan Jiu Hao! :=)

-what is love?-
-unconditional giving. if you love someone, you don't calculate how much you give.-

1:09 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Saturday, September 17, 2005`'`

Finalli, done with the final bazzar. One thing lesser to worry about. Ca is starting nxt week and exams are approaching. I am hafing a paper nxt tues, and my notes are still collecting dust. yikes! i better buck up. Seems like i will haf to burn midnight oil for the next few days. No pain, no gain. Came back home frm the airport juz now, went to sentMs Sally Low off. Cuz she will be in Sri Lanka for the nxt 2 weeks for voluntary work. Wish i had a chance to go. Unfortunately, schedule is 2 tight. Haf been meeting up wif the seminar peepz this 2 daes. Great to see them doing well. Had lotsa fun catching up with them. Gathering 2gether, laughing and creating a mess. i treasure these times. i will miss them whn i leave school. Met up wif Lin 2dae, waited for her to knock off from wrk while hanging out wif hui hui, zi hui, hui shi & ying yuan. Candy & Lina had to go off early [Candy: Hope u recover fast frm ur flu. Take care ya!] . So it was left wif the 5 of us. Lin seem pretty tired & stress up though. Guess she's pretty worn out.[Lin: Relax abit, take tings easy. Take good care of urself. ]Speaking of tat, haven met up wif e rest of kakis for sumtime alreadi. Sorri peepz, pretty packed this few weeks. Hope to cya all soon. meanwhile, take care peepz. Gotta go off nw. Haf a GrEaT weEkeNd aHeAd eVeRyOne! :=)

1:09 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Tuesday, September 13, 2005`'`

My com is back to life. It working in good conditon rite nw. Bt i m still veri cautious abt it. like i dun evn dare use msn messenger. So, for safety's sake i m sticking to windows messenger at least for the time being. My phone bill has found it way into my letter box yt agn. Dreaded moment. plus the i haf gt sum other stuff i nd to get. my bank a/c is gonna get reali small. Bless me tat i dun haf a credit card, even den dying wun help. evriting seems pretty closely connected to money recently. hope i get thru it sn. Dun like e idea of getting money frm my parents. Ha.Came across sum interesting tings this week. Life is alwayz so happening. esp out in the big wide world.

Article #1
There ws this grp of nutters whu whn surfing during the typhoon season. Waves n wind was extremely strong. There was this particular guy in e grp, whu was so proud of himself being able to stand up on the 1st try at it. so he gt bolder, i guess. Bt tat's human nature rite? Sumhw this smart guy here lost his balance at sum point and got injured. The surfing board almost slash across his face. Apparently, he was the onli one tat gt into a mess.

Refelctions: Pure stupidity. It goes to show tat no matter how bonkers u r going , dun mess wif ur life. i mean, wad are mental hospitals for? i bet they haf adequate qualified physcologists n psychiatrist to seek help from. Sumtimes, it better nt to get so satisfied at e 1st try huh? Aside frm stupidity, kinda brave of him to take up such a challenge. Moral of the story is humans can never win any war against nature. so, dun take the chance.

12:00 AM

with love,
xin

=)

`'`Friday, September 02, 2005`'`

Wednesdae sch was half-dae, cuz it was teacher's dae and the sch had scheduled performances for the lecturers. Went down to the canteen to meet up wif sum of the seminar peepz for lunch before heading down to suntec together. Was great having lunch & catching up with them. We stayed in sch till 1pm b4 leaving school. Went down to suntec kbox with Ying Yuan, Phui Hae, Zi Hui, Huishi & Jee Hong. Sang until 6pm & met up with Bryan for dinner. Decided to walked arnd carrefour b4 going for dinner. Walked towards the department displaying electric pianos. Bryan sat dwn & started playing the intro from the song tong hua. We were pretty surprised tat he cld play tat song, though it was onli a short part. Phui Hae wanted to go home early, so me and Ying yuan send her to the shuttle bus service stop. After which we went to basement 1 in search of a place for dinner. Finalli, decided on pastamania. Had spaghettis, soup, drinks, baked rice, garlic breads & pizzas. Finish diiner at abt 7.30+ & decided to check out the pool outlet in Mariana Square. There were quite alot of pros playing there, most of who are wrking adults. We checked the price an was shocked tat the charge for an hour was $8.40. So ex ! Decided to take a walk to esplanade as the nite was still early. First we went to check out the esplanade library. The place was not veri huge, but there was a lot of sections tat were being categorized in departments such as music, arts and culture. There was even a small area for piano practise. Was impressed with the place. Went up to the 4th level which was the roof terrace. The wind was strong, blowing against my face. The view was also breath- taking, overlooking Clark quay. Walked over to Merlion Park to look for my classmate who was working there. Took a 30 min boat ride, all thanx to him. Sat down at sum steps nearby and chatted. Recounting funny incidents from our childhood. Left the place at nearly 10pm, cuz Bryan had to report to sch early for a camp the next dae. It was great being able to catch up wif them. Ok, gotta stop here for now. Cuz I m doing this in sch. TaKe caRe EveRyoNe :=)

3:18 AM

with love,
xin

=)