在别人面前的快乐只为了令别人开心一点我要找到真的快乐唯有继续装傻

`'`Friday, June 10, 2005`'`

As I lay in bed, memories of the my last 18 years came flowing back to me. I thot abt my life, things i haf done, missed out & almost every event tat happend. joy, fears, pain & laughter. times juz fly by without me realising. Had my sleep interrupted countless times by the non-stop ringing phone. Went out wif my mum in e afternoon and juz came back frm a sumptous japanese meal wif my family. Thank you to everyone for their greetings/ wishes. esp siti, lin & sh thank for e cake guyz. I appreciate all e efforts. Thank you so much for making my day. i guess i haf alwayz gt the wrong idea of being cool. i used to tink it the stuff i owe, things i do & clothes i wear. All these while i had such a wrong idea. Being myself makes me cool... being independent makes me cool... being honest makes me cool.... being righteous makes me a cool person. I want to be cool in my parents eyes... my friends... & everyone else tat matters to me. I hope as time goes by i can achieve tat. To be more mature. Becme a better person. To make people who truly care proud of me. Tat's my wish. Cuz today i turn 19. it my birthday. I am older by a year in terms of age. I hope to be older not just physically... but physcologically... mentally... and well maybe... juz maybe spritually....

p/s: To everyone who has made my birthdae such a wonderful day in one way
or another. Words can't expressed how much i appreciate
all you haf done. Thank you so much. :D

11:48 PM

with love,
xin

=)